If you’re ever heard that phrase, “I’m not angry at you!” You may have scratched your head and thought, “You certainly act and sound angry.” And no doubt they do. We do. I do.
I will sometimes be so angry at myself that I sound, act and behave in an angry way to those around me. This is a mistake. I know, people have told me, I’ve told others, and it’s still not that easy to shift. Today, this Tuesday Schuh-Day I will provide some ways that have helped – not to make me any less angry with me, but to make it easier on others.
First, a quote to back me up on this thinking from business philosopher, Jim Rohn,
“No one else makes us angry. We make ourselves angry when we surrender control of our attitude.”
Now think about that – when we surrender control of our attitude…
So how do we get our attitude back on track? How do we keep our emotions in check enough to, even when angry, disappointed or in my case more often, frustrated?
Here’s what I’ve done (mostly successfully) – and which I continue to do when those emotions come up, which I pray will also help you too.
- Stop – simply stop for a moment and gather your thoughts. It’s when we “go off” on someone that we foul-up. It’s when we let our tongue run rampant that things turn bad. Whenever you feel that jolt of upset, simply stop. Stop talking, stop reacting, just stop.
- Take a breath. This will get some much-needed oxygen to your brain, and it works perfectly with the stop!
- Force a smile. There is something about turning your lips up, even when it’s forced, that moves your energy, and helps your attitude turn up too.
- Then say, “Here’s what’s good about this…” Remember, you have to find what’s good about it BTW.
This last one is important because it’s how you get your attitude back in check. Finding the good – or finding what you are grateful for will push out the anger, disappointment or frustration.
What’s good about this post on anger is it’s a reminder to me, and I hope to you, that even when the anger you feel is not about the other person, they will feel it until you stop, breath, force that smile and find the good in whatever it is.
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Shawna Schuh, CSP
Serving Leaders Who Ignite Others
Executive Coaching, Speaking, Columnist and Author